Apathy

I've wondered if there are stages of anger - and I wonder if I'm in the apathetic phase. Our company is moving offices and it's some super secret process that no one knows about. This makes me mad - do they think we are children? What is the point of hiding where we are moving? Unless the only reason is to tell the 'secret' to a select few and make them feel like they actually have some power.

Either way, I know that 90% of the people here at work don't really like me, mainly because I don't talk to anyone. I come in, do my work, and go home. It's just sales people anyways, and I know I sound like an elitist by saying this, but I have nothing to say to them, and actually find it infuriating to talk to them. I think most of them are really dumb, but also obliviously dumb.

The move has me sitting in an area by myself. I really need to get out of this place. People that read this blog, might consider me an angry, elitist, entitled asshole, but I think you'd be surprised if you met me. I get along very well with people, and infact make friends pretty easily with people. I think I'm just unhappy with my work right now - because I hate feeling like a cog in the wheel, and essentially that's what I am right now. What I do has little purpose other than to provide people with data, that they manipulate to show results (completely unethical, and also technically incorrect).

Spending 40 hrs a week of my life in this unhappy place for a year has drained me. I'm no longer the fun person I used to be. I have no motivation, and increasingly think of becoming a bum. Why don't I get a new job? Because I'm on a work permit, and 90% of companies will only hire Canadians, so even though I'm qualified, it's hard to find any company willing to jump through huge hoops just to hire me.

I know I'm waiting for my permanent residency card to come through in 6 months, and once I have that, I should have a much easier time getting a new job.

Either way, I need this blog to just rant and vent and let off steam, while I sit here staring at a monitor, getting paid to do this.