I've been to a shrink. 2 shrinks actually, and they are surprisingly helpful. Well,50% of the time anyway. The first shrink I saw was someone out of college, and after spending an hour with her, she convinced me that I was a 'victim' of 'child abuse' and that my life was really bad.
I felt okay when she said this, but when I left the session, the anger slowly started welling up. I was in the subway, and I had to stare down at the floor because I thought I'd punch someone if they looked at me wrong. I was so angry by the end of the ride, that I went home, and killed half a bottle of irish whiskey to take my mind off what she said.
Let me be clear. She was not right. And she didn't help me. I'm not a victim. She just successfully made me feel worse than I did after her session. That'll teach me to try out a $30/hr shrink.
The next shrink I saw charged $90/hr and after talking to her for an hour, I felt amazing. Everything she said was positive, and I left the session feeling really good. I went back to her a couple more times, and then I just occupied myself with random activities and never had a chance, but I'll still never forget her. She really helped me identify why I was so angry. In 25 minutes, she told me that my problem was anger, and that I kept it bottled in, and then started directing it towards myself.
I needed an outlet for expressing my anger, and she pointed out that all my creative outlets - non-fiction writing, fiction writing, screenplays, were all extremely violent and that they were just my outlets for letting out anger. I never thought about this until she pointed it out, but it's a good point.
For those of you thinking about the taboo, the cost, of going to a shrink - let me assure you. It's totally worth going. You have nothing to lose.
I've changed quite a bit in the last couple of months, my anger has subsided quite a bit, and I feel like I'm making positive progress towards avoiding a destructive life.
