The Indian Dream

As an Indian, I was told life had a path. Study hard, make good grades - pick Science as your 11th grade specialty, and then do computer science in college, get a job, get married, have kids, repeat cycle. This is bullshit.The Indian dream is a lie.

Looking back at my childhood, I don't think I remember any parts with my family that I considered myself happy. My mom used to cane me to study. I hated being in the house. She would constantly berate me for being stupid and not working hard and not doing well. My childhood was spent mostly in fear of my mother. I had no freedom in any aspect of my life. My study path was chosen for me, my college major was dictated to me. I'm an 18 year old guy that is treated like a 4 yr old. Resentment was built. Never manifested, but it slowly seethed.

In college, after moving to the US, where I was told to pick computer science as a major (because obviously there were a lot of computer jobs), in my second semester while working on a programming assignment, I couldn't do it anymore. I hated it. I couldn't picture myself doing this for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for the rest of my life. I always enjoyed physics, and thought of changing my major to physics, so I went and talked to the Undergraduate Dean of Physics about moving to a physics major. He convinced me that it would be a good idea, and that I would have a lot of flexibility after I graduate in what career path I could take - business, lawyers, scientist, professor.

The next morning I called my parents and told them that I HATED computer science and I think I would do much better as a physics major. I told them I liked teaching, and I wanted to be a professor. They called me back the next day and said 'If you want to major in physics, we won't pay for your college'. So I continued with my Computer Science major. I failed a couple of classes - but I eventually graduated. With absolutely no  use with this major. I could barely program, had never done anything great other than goto classes with a middling GPA. I didn't even try very hard to look for jobs, just because I knew I didn't want a programming job.

The year after graduation was when I'd started playing poker and was making quite a bit of money. I ended up making close to $20K playing cards, and then decided I wanted to do a masters degree in my field of choosing. I chose Mgmt of information sciences, and then found what I truly enjoyed doing. Marketing analysis. I paid for the whole masters degree myself and then found a job in the field I loved.

The whole dream of following a blind path of what your Indian parents deem right for you is absolutely demolishing. If you are reading, understand this. Life is tough, it's not easy. If you truly want to do something, be prepared to endure hardships and bleak times to finally get what you want. It wasn't easy for me to get to where I am. I've had times where all my possessions were a laundry basket and a laptop. I lived on a friend's couch for 6 months. I used to eat once every 2 days. But I persevered, because I didn't want to take my parent's money and wanted to make my own life.

You can do the same. Break free of the mold.